The dying art of being decent to each other

Something has been bothering me for years now. I've commented on it in the past, but in the recent months around the election, mass shootings, and financial hooplah, I've really been annoyed by the lack of common decency. I suspect the Internet hasn't helped, with the ability to make sweeping blanket statements about people and hide behind an anonymous username. The decline of personal responsibility hasn't aided things either.

Don't get me wrong, being a jerk to your fellow man verbally or in print is nothing new. I know too much history to ignore something like the election between Adams and Jefferson as an example. That said, our modern world allows everyone to take part in the denigration of folks just because of their personal and political beliefs. I've seen some extremes lately and realized that, according to many out there, I personally shouldn't have a right to some of my opinions. This is not something for which I think this country should stand.

First, let me point out some facts many of you may know, but not all. I am a white, middle-classed male of Protestant decent. Opinions of my "ethnic type" are what have shaped and ruled this country for centuries. But already, but making that leap, we're going down the slippery slope that leads to people making assumptions and broad statements about me based on those facts. The truth is, with the info I just provided, you know very little about my political, religious, and personal beliefs. I have found myself a minority on many issues, and while I definitely benefit from being the "norm" and avoid the abuse heaped on people for their physical characteristics, I do hear and read enough broad slanders against me I feel qualified to continue on this topic.

Most recently, I have been labeled a murderer. This is not a new slur to me. I've heard it before as I support a woman's right to choose what happens with her body, even when a fetus is involved. I, personally, would never want a child of mine aborted, but I concede that: A) I will never be pregnant, so I can't ever experience the thoughts, emotions, and physical anguish that might lead someone to make that call; B) have never experienced the brutal violation that is rape and sexual abuse, which could well lead to an unwelcome pregnancy; C) feel that overpopulation is the cause of a lot of harm on this planet, so have a hard time arguing against a procedure that might reduce that issue. For my support of this cause, I've been labelled a murderer by extremists on the opposite side, despite the fact that I would argue against an abortion and for adoption personally. No distinction is made on the side of the extremists.

Now, because I own guns and believe in the right to own them, I'm a murderer again. It does not matter that I have never plotted, considered, and get personally upset at the idea of taking another person's life. Because I do not believe that we should give up a particular right and that I have contributed money to organizations which fight for this right, I am a murderer. I know of people, personally, who have been confronted on this issue because of stickers on their cars. I read one case of a guy having to call the cops to deal with an irate gun control advocate.

Folks, this isn't healthy. It isn't helpful. And it certainly isn't decent! I will always calmly and rationally discuss any of my beliefs with you. If one of us finds ourselves getting too emotionally invested, I'll gladly table the discussion. Heck, my wife is VERY anti-gun. It is an issue we have learned to disagree on, but she would not call me a murderer for owning them. Why? She knows me. She has an understanding of where I come from on the issue and, while she disagrees, she respects my opinions as another human being. More importantly, she respects ME as a human being. That's the foundation of decency.

This, I think, is the core. Everyone who has an opinion, whether you agree or not, is a human being with experiences and thoughts different from your own. When we passionately believe something, we need to understand that others may be passionate on their side of the topic. Their experiences are different and have shaped where they are today. Can their opinions change? Certainly! I know mine have over the years on a variety of topics. But never once have I changed my thoughts because someone took an extreme opposite opinion and berated me for what I think and feel, in person or online. Each change has been a result of intelligent discussion, research, thought, and time. This is made much easier with decency.

I rail a lot on our government, but at the end of the day they are a reflection of the people they serve. They are a mirror. Don't like what you see in their behavior? Try being decent to others and, in time, the reflection may come to match. If nothing else, you're eliminating a lot of angst and hate from your life and making the world a little better place to live.